he Struggle of Dealing with Death
Death is such a strange part of life. One day someone is here, the next day they are gone. Knowing before someone is going to die, having the opportunity to prepare yourself, does not make it any easier. Everyone deals with death differently, there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. From anger and denial to crying all night or sleeping all day. Some push the people they care most about away, not wanting anyone to see them sad. Others stay strong for everyone around them, and break down alone. From denial to finding inner peace, in the end we all find our ways of dealing with it.
I recently learned this first hand, after my grandmother’s passing. We were beyond close. From how to spell pest, to dealing with the best ways to overcome my disabilities she was there through it all. She was diagnosed with cancer three years ago and put up an amazing fight. But in the end it was too much.
She handled it with such grace, it was truly inspiring. We could feel the end coming, and that gave us a chance to prepare ourselves. At first I thought that time to prepare had helped me. I didn’t cry, and I hate to admit it, but I really didn’t feel anything. I made the decision to just keep going head first, any adventure I saw I went after. I thought I was at peace with myself and death in general but I was so wrong. In the last week it has hit me like a train. I didn’t cry but I just felt sad. I lost the person that helped guide me through life, it was such a weird feeling not to have her on the other end of the phone. Last Friday was her service, I spoke and completely lost it afterwards. I have felt everything since then, from just complete sadness to knowing how lucky I was that I had the relationship I did with her. My grandma believed there is a lesson to learn from everything, I believe the lesson I have learned from all of this is that when it comes to losing someone everything goes out the window, and you just simply do the best you can.